Endless Story...

{ Monday, October 15, 2007

my turn...?

Erm... Hi.... Haven't been here for awhile....

Seems like everyone posted abit....

Hmm, well, life's not going well... as per usual. I'm starting to feel the fear of A Levels, though that has not stopped me from watching Nodame Cantabile and completing the series withing 24 hours.

Well, I think I actually like classical... -_-... Or maybe its because the show makes it look so cool...
I'm listening to Chopin's "Fantasie" Impromptu Op. 66, and i don't even understand what the title means... I really want to learn to play the piano now... And the violin too... But... no time, no money, no talent... Besides I want to learn purely based on fun... and maybe some interest too... But of course, with my sweaty palms and stuff... I think the instrument will die on me before I can do anything proper with it... Imagine me killing a grand piano just because I tried to play it...-_-

Well, but somehow... in future... I'm seriously gonna try to learn the piano... And well... become Square Enix's number one Character Designer!!!

Hmm, i should perhaps get my own camera too, and bring it everywhere with me.... I wanna capture everything I see, every single memory... I don't know why, but I really feel that it's something good to do...

I like Japanese shows... They are really good at digging deep inside you...

I feel like I haven't gone through something yet. Like, I don't know... like being in a big group and feeling all the teamwork, the effort, the friendship, the hardships... I really wanna feel that... Watching too much shows? Perhaps... haha... but in secondary school, perhaps I was too immature to actually be able to appreciate things like that... Hmm, NS... perhaps I can find it there... Maybe in university too... Heh... But I 'd rather do it in something like... a group effort towards something... like maybe a really cool gaming project... or... hehe, an orchestra... Argh... I can't spell "orchestra"...

Yeah... so many things to do in future... And all this time... I've been wasting my life away, forced to be waste my life away, in ignorance, in that "herd instinct"...

It seems like... I don't really have much time left... Time is so, so limited... Doing all these meaningless things... Preparing for meaningless things... Just so for a stupid piece of paper...

After A's, if I can't produce anything stunning, I doubt there would be a chance for me to study in Japan... Then there would be NS, 2 years gone... I'll be 21... If I don't screw up my As, and manage to rake up some stuff for my portfolio, perhaps I might be able to enter NAFA... if not, I'l probably go into a polytechnic design school... both ways, time is wasted on a diploma, and if I could I'll get a degree... I'll probably be 25 - 26... If I still haven't done anything good to get me an opportunity to Japan... I'll probably be 30... Seems like I'll only end up there after 30...

Ridiculous....

So many... things to do.... So little time...

I'll get a camera... I'll try for a piano... Violin seems out of the question... Until perhaps after the piano... I'll try to learn to become a better person... Maybe a perfectionist... Learn more skills, groom myself better, learn to talk better... Capture more memories... Organise my life till its .. well... organised... planned... Eat better, become healthier... Maybe go for Lesik or something... Master English... Japanese... Korean... French...

I wonder... If I might one day discard the friends I have... For I already have few now... Perhaps I would become the man that I often see in shows... The kind that stays alone, the depends on himself, and not talks to anyone... Lol, too much shows... But it's kinda cool, though kinda sad... I wonder if m friends would remember me... Or if I would remember them... Will we communicate...? Hmm, I don't think I can actually be independent... I'll always end up depending on someone... Always....

Well, I'll be whatever I'll be... thought I'll try planning for it...

It's cool to type fast... Kinda like when I see them playing the piano really fast in Nodame... Just that I make lots of spelling errors...

Hehe....

Haix....

SeraphiChaos
11:51 PM