endless story

I'm bored

2009-01-20T12:20:00.002+09:00

Sitting in hall, stoning (even though my tutorial for my 1230 lesson is not completed XD). Haiz. hahas, so decided to blog. surprise surprise. looks like we'll have a yearly blog entry soon looking @ the rate this is going XDD. oh wells, it's finally 2009. We celebrated a nice new year's day and since then we haven't met T.T hahas

Argh. my family is now going thru a pre-financial crisis anxiety coz' of all the wonderful things the economy brought with it... urgh. *dies* argh well... that means i must avoid all the yummy expensive restaurants and only go there like once a mth or two or sth XD

oh and i highlighted my hair. :) so till then~

toodles

heaven's place

2008-09-18T01:17:00.002+08:00

wow, it's been a really long time since anyone has posted anything here huh? I bet you all forgot all about it! You naughty beibehs!

Well I admit, I probably have the lowest post count on this blog anyway. And here I am, on a very (early) early Thursday morning, contemplating things, not wanting to do anything much, needing sleep yet not giving myself enough, with my fingers hurting from playing my guitar for the first time in 2 months, yeah you get the gist. My eyes are burning too by the way and usually not in a very good way, unless I'm Cyclops, and even then, that isn't a good thing.

I was just skimming through the posts from an aeon back, looking back at what we wrote (or at least what you guys wrote, I was made of fail and often wrote one liner posts) and I was thinking, wow, what happened to all that? Well yeah, graduation happened and university and En Ass happened, but wow, suddenly it made me appreciate just how much we supported each other during the A level period. Well we needed it. All that emo-ing, angsting, pottering and whatnot was all finally over. And now we're at the door of the next challenge.

Well, three of us at least. An Ass seems to be a different situation altogether, so I guess it's not in my place to say.

Well what can I say? University life so far has been pretty hectic and rushed. Recess week for me is in another one week (and its fasting month, what kind of recess week is that man!?) and I have a feeling I'll be spending most of my day in school, cooped up in some corner of COM1, mugging my ass off. Not an ass. My ass. Different thing.

Somehow I just feel that the bunch of friends that I made during the Rag dance seem so different from me. We got along fine and we have good rapport, good enough for me to want to be a rag dancer next year as well. Even so, somehow, it just feels like I don't belong. The whole idea of cliques irritate me so much. I am a rag dancer, and that bumps me up in the senior's opinion. I'm almost expected to be the popular social butterfly people expect me to be and honestly, these days, I'm just not in a mood. I'd rather hang out with the lower profile people, but then again, they have their own cliques and even if I have friends there, since I'm with my "clique" all the time, that's where I will stay.

It's irritating me.

Just a little bit. The whole fixed and cooped atmosphere. The workload. The lecturers.

That.

And we need to go for a Swensen's trip one of these days. Soon.

When fasting is over.

so easily done, so difficult to reach...

2007-12-02T00:46:00.000+09:00

So many things, that people take for granted.
So many things that is readily there.

Yet, how many people lack this opportunity?
How many people lack this ability?
How many people lack this... possibility?

Decided since birth, decided along the river of Life.

Consciously, unconsciously...

Did you know....?

Have you wondered....???

This very possibility...

This very existence...

Some things, better left unsaid...
Some things, dying to get out...

No one to listen, no ears to whisper to...

No eyes that give pity...

No cure to be found...

An end...?

No... It will not...

Grinding and bumping, sores and lacerated skin...

Seeping blood, painting the path...

There...

This path is opened...
Along the dark marbled floor...
Cool, translucent...

This itch... beyond all measurements...

need for relief... need for freedom...

need for... contact...

sealed...

beyond never flowing water...

void lies...

silence reigns...

a darkened tree grows...

chaos ensues.

I'm bored

2007-11-19T15:30:00.000+09:00

I'm bored.
A levels going to over soon, I abit heck care the last paper...

Damn sian, attempting to do Physics MCQ now... Later got tuition...-_-

Mugging is unhealthy, it makes you fat... You sit at home and mug and grab anything around you and eat it... There should be some health campaign against mugging-_-

Now I need to lose 7 kg, or commit suicide.

Ok, I pick losing 7 kg...

ARGH! I"M BORED!!!

I'm bored,fat, ugly, stupid, annoyed, and poor...

Let's try some positive thinking...

I'm horizontally blessed, free of activity, ...err... i can't think of anything else to substitute...
Even the MMORPGs now are boring...
Drawing is draining, cos I end up producing images that make me want to smash my screen.
And then I have prom...-_-

Stupid prom, have to rake my brains over what to wear... And I dunno what the rest wearing so I can't just jump straight into anything.

Oh, then must somehow think up a complex strategy to get my father to give me money...

And I want to work part time... And I want to work at Kino... But the requirement is to work minimum 6 months, which I cannot, cos I enlist in April.

Well, let's see what other life's problems I can dump here...

Hmm, dunno... Perhaps I should go for drawing classes or something... or Cging classes... I can't tell one colour from the other... which is very very bad...

Zzzzzzz.....

2007-11-11T10:39:00.000+09:00

truthfully, i've been staring at the create post page on blogger for about one hour and I honestly have no idea what to write. Hope the A levels haven't been that awful for you guys. It's alright people! Just another 2 more weeks of your life and whatever happens after that is going to be your own making! And Shino its ok. I screwed up Chem Paper 3. So remember when you screw up something, make up for it in another paper. XD Oh and this is going to sound SUPPAA corny but the path will reveal itself to you in due time.

I don't believe I just said that.

Oh and let's totally go out and party after the A's are over. Totally. But no one gets drunk. XDDD

=0

2007-11-08T22:00:00.000+09:00

ouch. seems like there's a lot of worrying. =( naaah... it's okay... life is ALL about uncertainities. if that job is meant to be ours, it'll be. Otherwise, there WILL be another path for us to go. if we all start worrying so much about our future now, we'll look like our grandma or grandpa even before we reach our parents age XDD. Sighs, i'm not anticipating that day we get our results back. But the only thing i'm trying to achieve before we reach that day is to establish ourselves as an online shop thingy XD - so that i WILL feel accomplished no matter what the grades are. i dunno how enthusiastic you all are about the idea but i really wanna have a substantial part time business to earn extra cash + i'm cracking my heads on how to put us apart from the MANY other online shops. =) I think i went crazy after maths P2 looking at all sorts of online sites (and finally buying the white piano bag =.= unless it's Out of stock XD)

but till the end of a's. 22 nov for bio, 20 nov for phy, let's jia you. =D

but shino, at least you weren't late for a paper. ^^;; there was a girl late for maths P1 i think coz' she thought it was in the afternoon. dun feel down. keep your eyes on the prize - THE 6 MTHS OF FREEDOM! or work. =.= lol (but if u are into F&B, u can try to work at cosafe. XDD. esp shino since u r good in chinese and english XD. Let's find work together after A's- no matter how much u dun wanna go through it!!)

sian

2007-11-08T11:32:00.000+09:00

sigh. been long since i last came here. sorry guys.

haix. As havent been very good for me. the dumbest thing one could ever do is to mix up which paper at which time. n yes i m the idiot who tot maths was in the morning n bio was in the afternoon. realised tt i was wrong like 20mins before the exams? how smart i m.. SOB. totally freaked out la. haix but nothing much i can do even if i freak out. went to bio paper 2 with quite a lot of things not memorised. think i screwed up. SIGH.

it seems like u all have a goal in mind already. like wat u want do in future. but me.. i seriously dunno. at least u have a goal to work towards ovan.. u can try all ur best u can to achieve ur goal. but me.. i dun even know wat i'm working hard for. i took A lvls not knowing wat i want to achieve. i juz know tt i have to go into uni otherwise i will be like kenna killed by my parents? but wat issit tt i want to do to take wat course? i dun even noe. i'm quite jealous of those hu have a goal in mind. a lot of friends tell me they wanna be this be tt... blah blah blah.. they can see their future but mine is still buried in the darkness... SIGH.

today public holidays.. no where to go mug.. T.T at home now n definitely not mugging. die la. tink i'm addicted to facebooking. haha. very fun leh. oops. =) hate it when the lib is not open. i cant mug at home! SIGH

oh well.. all the best to all of u~ let's do the best we can! 22nd!! after 22nd!! then we can go PARTY!! haha. anyone has an post-As activity list out already? hahaha! good luck to all~ n dun mess up the times of ur exams like wat an idiot like me did. T.T

WTF...

2007-10-26T00:03:00.001+08:00

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.....

I'm freaking pissed... at myself... at everything...

I CAN"T FREAKING DRAW TO SAVE MY GOD-DAMNED LIFE!!!

WTF...

I cannot seem to do any realism... Not to mention draw a simple pair of eyes on a face... Or even draw in the outline of the face... WTF!!!!!!

I freaking wasted 2 years of my life and now I'm face with crap that I'm actually not supposed to face... It's like going for BMT and realising that you're not supposed to be there...

I've no freaking time to practise, no freaking person to teach me, no freaking proper pair of hands to draw with...

How the fuck am I supposed to get into whatever design course I can get into and top the freaking class???

To hell with all the bloody parents and teachers and tutors and whatnot...

I CAN"T FREAKING STUDY SCIENCE!!! ACCEPT THAT FUCKING FACT AND EAT IT OR SOMETHING!!!

Parents are supposed to shine a light out to their child when they're lost, not freaking build them a labyrinth and toss them into the middle of it AND turn the lights off...
. . .

Well, it's still not out of my system, and I probably would not be able to sleep well tonight...

On another note, we can use this blog as a means to keep in contact... I think this is what it was intended for anyway...

Argh... I'm furious...

maths maths maths BLOG maths maths......

2007-10-23T13:21:00.000+08:00

Lol! yay! and thanks for cheering me up ^^;; wheeee~ have to continue maths soon but before that, i have influenced my BRO and SIS into the Potterpuppetpals!!! XD. (oooh there's also potterpuffs XDDD!! super cute XDDDDDD)

oooh and there's this PPP performance at the yule ball. SUPER noisy coz' of all the screaming but the story is funny also XDDD. ah what the heck >x<

eeps... my sister is singing "hemione hermione" lol!

............................... *goes back to maths*

Freeze my Love

2007-10-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

Did I ever tell you guys how much I love you all? Like a lot a lot? Thanks for today! Haha...

.
.
.
.
"..what's that ticking noise..."
.
.
.
.
.
"... it's quite catchy.."

snape...snape severus snape..
dumbledore!
ron!
ron!
ronweasley!

"angst angst angst angst.."

And the bloggin continues...

2007-10-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

Ah after a's, i've short term goals so far. yesterday, i got an insanely hot-tempered father breathing down my throat on the responsibilities of being the elder sister. now, i'm miserable and very angry as i apologised (had to even if i want or dun want to) and i sent myself for even further yelling. or nagging. watever. my sister has been an angel, coming in once in a while to tell me everyone loves me. =) maybe i'll just let her continue playing my maple story account for free hahas.

anyways, just wrote in my private journal horrible things. yet i feel bad that i dun feel bad for writing it. =,= what the heck? hahas. studying physics now. mugging mugging. but now i'm kinda determined to do my very best. why. i wonder. but hopefully we all managed to get it over with mostly if not all As.

I'm a horrible person to maintain contact with. When people ignore me, i tend to ignore then back. or dun bother asking about their well-beings from time to time. unless they mean alot to me. But even then, sometimes when i find such feelings not reciprocated, i tend to just ignore that person =.=... so usually those i maintain contact with is due to the fact they contacted me first and vice versa. lol.

i dun think the above paragraph made much sense. i'm still dreamy, my eyes hurts and it all botchy from all the crying. >x< ah which reminds me, i would need to buy contacts after a's. =) and start a part-time business so that at least can earn some petty cash to maintain my hobbies like sewing, and soon, knitting. =D anyone interested in joining me on this venture? XD.

better continue mugging. otherwise i won't be able to finish physics today. XD. ciao.

EDIT: i didn't wanna post another entry so i'm adding on.

WHOA! i just read an article and i'm majorly shock (okay i'm not XD) DUMBLEDORE IS GAY O.O as said by Ms J.K Rowlings herself O________O she must have been influenced by all the fanfictions out there lol! here's the article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071020/ap_on_en_ot/books_harry_potter

lol. after reading that, i felt better hahas. can smile now lol.

organisation? NAAAAAHHH...

2007-10-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

hehheh, tsukasa will do wonders in five minutes! Posting in five minutes! Ok don't waste time.

I hope everyone is doing ok. It was a really pleasant surprise to see someone updated here when I logged in to blogger to do some funky layout shit on FIX. Hehheh, Yasu is on my next layout!~ Black Cherry anyone? A levels are officially killing me and I have a perpetual headache everyday, but I suppose it'll be worth it. one day. I have doubts about that.

Since Ovan was on the topic of what we want after A levels... keep in touch? I think that's they're e very least of what I want. Considering how I tend to throw my friends away because of the lack of them anyway.. Haha, I think its time for a change now. Changes huh?

In the words of Delirium, I don't like change. Makes people feel insecure and makes them feel like they're hanging off the edge. I don't like change. Change changes me, may make me do things I don't want to do. Things won't always stay the same. We won't always have this place to rant anymore. One day we'll all be going our separate ways. We'll be doing things we never thouht we would be doing. Hey that'll be cool. But no matter what, let's keep in touch. BBQ in 20 years time people? I'd recommend that.

Oh pooh forever love happens to be playing now. Well, when I learn the guitar well enough to play that song, maybe I won't even have to turn on WMP just to hear it. So after A levels I will learnguitargetajoblearnbassguitarbuyatablet drawimprovemyselfdyemyhairgotouniversity livebymyselfgetajobiwontkillmyselfover besuccessfulandBEHAPPY!!!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

my turn...?

2007-10-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

Erm... Hi.... Haven't been here for awhile....

Seems like everyone posted abit....

Hmm, well, life's not going well... as per usual. I'm starting to feel the fear of A Levels, though that has not stopped me from watching Nodame Cantabile and completing the series withing 24 hours.

Well, I think I actually like classical... -_-... Or maybe its because the show makes it look so cool...
I'm listening to Chopin's "Fantasie" Impromptu Op. 66, and i don't even understand what the title means... I really want to learn to play the piano now... And the violin too... But... no time, no money, no talent... Besides I want to learn purely based on fun... and maybe some interest too... But of course, with my sweaty palms and stuff... I think the instrument will die on me before I can do anything proper with it... Imagine me killing a grand piano just because I tried to play it...-_-

Well, but somehow... in future... I'm seriously gonna try to learn the piano... And well... become Square Enix's number one Character Designer!!!

Hmm, i should perhaps get my own camera too, and bring it everywhere with me.... I wanna capture everything I see, every single memory... I don't know why, but I really feel that it's something good to do...

I like Japanese shows... They are really good at digging deep inside you...

I feel like I haven't gone through something yet. Like, I don't know... like being in a big group and feeling all the teamwork, the effort, the friendship, the hardships... I really wanna feel that... Watching too much shows? Perhaps... haha... but in secondary school, perhaps I was too immature to actually be able to appreciate things like that... Hmm, NS... perhaps I can find it there... Maybe in university too... Heh... But I 'd rather do it in something like... a group effort towards something... like maybe a really cool gaming project... or... hehe, an orchestra... Argh... I can't spell "orchestra"...

Yeah... so many things to do in future... And all this time... I've been wasting my life away, forced to be waste my life away, in ignorance, in that "herd instinct"...

It seems like... I don't really have much time left... Time is so, so limited... Doing all these meaningless things... Preparing for meaningless things... Just so for a stupid piece of paper...

After A's, if I can't produce anything stunning, I doubt there would be a chance for me to study in Japan... Then there would be NS, 2 years gone... I'll be 21... If I don't screw up my As, and manage to rake up some stuff for my portfolio, perhaps I might be able to enter NAFA... if not, I'l probably go into a polytechnic design school... both ways, time is wasted on a diploma, and if I could I'll get a degree... I'll probably be 25 - 26... If I still haven't done anything good to get me an opportunity to Japan... I'll probably be 30... Seems like I'll only end up there after 30...

Ridiculous....

So many... things to do.... So little time...

I'll get a camera... I'll try for a piano... Violin seems out of the question... Until perhaps after the piano... I'll try to learn to become a better person... Maybe a perfectionist... Learn more skills, groom myself better, learn to talk better... Capture more memories... Organise my life till its .. well... organised... planned... Eat better, become healthier... Maybe go for Lesik or something... Master English... Japanese... Korean... French...

I wonder... If I might one day discard the friends I have... For I already have few now... Perhaps I would become the man that I often see in shows... The kind that stays alone, the depends on himself, and not talks to anyone... Lol, too much shows... But it's kinda cool, though kinda sad... I wonder if m friends would remember me... Or if I would remember them... Will we communicate...? Hmm, I don't think I can actually be independent... I'll always end up depending on someone... Always....

Well, I'll be whatever I'll be... thought I'll try planning for it...

It's cool to type fast... Kinda like when I see them playing the piano really fast in Nodame... Just that I make lots of spelling errors...

Hehe....

Haix....

wasn't the hp craze over decades ago...?

2007-10-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

argh, so why have i been struck with it... AGAIN. ahhhh i'm so dead. Just coz' i saw someone selling a slytherin robe (which is cheap but there are flaws so i've convinced myself (kinda) not to get it =D) and suddenly, i terribly feel like getting hp merchandise and cosplaying harry potter (at least just for fun XD aka excuse to make the robes mwahahhaha). heck, i'm even thinking of decorating my future home in a harry potter theme. urgh. >x< seriously siao =.=

ahh but i love harry potter (actually draco malfoy *evil grin*)... all over again (okay fanfics helped part of it) other than that, i'm dying for a's to be over and then i'll officially venture into the world of ONLINE shopping. *sparkly eyes* oh and earning money to support this expensive hobby of course T.T... whee~ since now basically i'm getting from singaporeans, so basis of online shopping completed. i wonder how it'll be like if i get it from overseas. hmm... which mean i need to check how to do payment, what's shipping like and stuff. whoa. know i'm rabbling, my eyes are droopy and my head's all light and fluffy. so dun blame me >x<

whee~ i feel like getting wands, robes (okay maybe i make the robes XD), scarves, ties. eeps, i even feel like learning how to knit!!! i wanna knit!!!! T________T) ah and after a's my father's gonna drill me with programming language. i think it was asp.net. so lotsa things to do and plan. =D not to say i've a LOT of things i wanna sew *thinks of getting new sewing machine* mwahahhaha.

time to jia you jia you *starts engine* just a few weeks/month more than it'll be all over, until the marks get back. need to buck up and jia you. yups. prelims wasn't done very well... for the subs i expected to do better T_______T sighs. But at least gp and econs, which has been consistently failing, finally passed for once (hopefully this momentum continues O.o) but jia you jia you.... ahh okay, i feel better. now i think i can concentrate on studying and get over this hp sudden craze................ momentarily =D

round and round

2007-09-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

as tiring as it was, today was definitely a good break from the monotonous cycle my life has depressingly degenerated into. meh, it was so hard to try to talk as much as I'm supposed to when my throat feels like the sahara desert! So sorry hehheh...

ahhh i feel stuffed from break fast. Has anyone ever tried chocolate covered dates? They're amazingly addictive. And now, I'm addicted to playing with my seemingly redundant and useless and just there for fun guitar pick. haha...

XDDD

bleahx

2007-09-21T20:09:00.000+08:00

wheeeee! prelims end liao. finally. oh no but tt means As is nearing!! oh no no no!! haix. oh well nothing to blog about since studying is the only thing i had done for the past weeks. n of course plus a 'little' bit of watching tv.. hehe! but oh well since like so long no one blog so decided to post one ba. to celebrate the end of prelims?? haha.

anyway i wanna go out!! let's go somewhere tml leh. suggestions anyone?? =D

photos!!

2007-08-27T20:21:00.000+08:00

YOYO. tink ovan n dee still havent got the photos yet rite?? i uploaded them online le.. go see.. if u tink too mafun to save one by one then.. dee: get from me.. ovan: er get from aiysha or u can gimme ur thumbdrive again? dunno y always cannot send to u de. haix haix. so while waiting u 2 can go see first.. =) enjoy!

Natsu Matsuri

Plaza Singapura

all the best for prelims! happy mugging. haha. though i tink it'll be hard to mug n be happy. LOLX. ^_____^

. . .

2007-08-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm back again, and I'm more furious than before.
Rare that I actually post twice a day, but really, I just cannot tolerate this pithole in my stomach and I really have to do something about it.

Where should I start off with? I have so many grudges currently and have this tremendous urge to wreak destruction upon everything I see that, well, it is rather difficult to think clearly and put everything into a nice flowy passage.

Perhaps I should start of with why I am here again. Yes, that should be indeed a good starting point. Well, I should think that it is because of a lack of people to talk with. There doesn't seem to be a wide variety of people that I can actually hold a proper conversation online with, let alone pour out my woes and cry my heart out to and hope that somehow the other party can understand what exactly I am feeling. No one seems to be facing artist block and the inability to draw properly even after receving a healthy dose of inspiration. And no one does seem to be facing the problem of drenching the piece of paper that you are trying to draw on. I do have this incredible urge to slam my tablet pen into my tablet and my tablet into the floor, and the only thing stopping me is the fact that it costs over $500 and I really really need it for my future. Of course ,there is also the fact that it would make my father extremely glad as I would not be able to draw into the computer anymore. So people tell,me, why not wear a glove while drawing? Of course apparently they do not think beyond "a glove covers a hand" in their minute brains, because they never do realise that, the sweat will either soak through the glove onto the paper, or leak out from the opening. And of course, they cannot really think about how uncomfortable it would be, and how it would impede my drawing. And when they finally realise it, they laugh. Interesting joke, at my expense. Very nice indeed. Really, if I have the ability to execute the skills "Icy Palms" or can drown people with my palms, I assure you half the Singapore population would be gone.

Speaking of my father, it seems like he has this amazing clairvoyant ability that allows him to look into the future and see exactly what will happen to me. I would somehow get some managerial position and get married and have kids, and struggle for more power within the office just so that I can afford to shower my family with material wealth. That is definitely a very pretty future he has painted for himself. Oops! Did I say for himself? No no no!!! He definitely has thought about everything that is the best for me and has understood completely what exactly is it I want in life, my personality, my interests etc... Oh my, I think that was sarcasm!!! Sure, somehow he has not comprehended that 1) I do not want to stay in Singapore, 2) The only goal in my life is to produce games/manga/anime, 3) I am not getting married. There are tons more of things that he doesn't understand and hence artificially produced what he think is actually reality. Interesting way of producing false hopes for oneself.

I think it is time to move on to ranting about studies isn't it? Good old hatred for mugging and muggers. This ranting is pratically a classic and is a must have for every Singaporean teen. Well, nothing new, everything is going downhill, everyone expects super high standards from me, every one expects me to be pursuing any other course except art/design, everyone thinks that I am really motivated for A's, everyone doesn't really care about how I feel about doing A's.

Sure, it's easy to say: YO! Hang in there! It's gonna end soon! Sure, I'll hang in there, but I'll just sit through the thing. Which part of, I don't like this, am not interested in this, cannot find the motivation for this, am desperately seeking a freaking alternative path out of this, don't anyone understand? Oh I know, perhaps its because they are actually interested in the subjects? Or that they can actually do well in their subjects? And they cannot imgaine anyone not doing science. Put in abit of effort and you can do it. Sure, that's all talk. I'm completely dry. Dried out of effort, motivation.

What the bloody fuck, I'm tired already. And I can't even think straight. Don't know what the hell I typed. Screw this shit.

2007-08-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

it's always so difficult to take the next step
the way blocked by overwhelming light
too much, too bright
do you know where this is going?

chadeliers, hung in a pattern
people, entwined in their rays
its all pretty and showy
this beautiful cruelty

where is the justice? what is right?
where do those that stumble from the path go?
a toe into the darkness. and all is lost
this chained hand can grasp no more

the wrongness not felt
as the ice melts away
crystalised before it fell
these tears that never existed

........................................................

random posting.
just a need to ... write random words.
there isn't any meaning to this, so don't crack your heads trying to read between lines.
not in a good mood.
pissed at many many things.

POP!!! goes the weasel...

2007-08-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

Ok, I kind of popped at school today... Didn't so much as moved a single facial muscle...

I think it began when my friend suaned my sketch... I was trying very hard to get it to look right, (though it was lecture, but still...) and he just comes along to make fun of it...

It's not the first time... And I'm usually not affected cos I know he's someone who doesn't take things seriously, but still... I don't know... Just popped. He always says he likes to encourage people to do stuff that they like... Interesting method of encouragement.

Well, then it starts sliding down form there. I started getting pissed at everyone I see, and cursed them silently. Perhaps I was jealous. Jealous that they could fit in so easily. That they could study so easily. That they could find fun and laughter and joy in that place. And I was angry that, at the end of the day, you have to fight for yourself. Its a full scale battle royale, and everyone is on their own. No allies to back you up, to heal you, to defend you. Didn't even take a chem test seriously, and did it without data booklet or a calculator.

I think I'm burning out, without even studying. Just being in that place and in that course is already sapping everything I have. I'm seriously considering just giving up right now and failing my A's and heading to poly after that. Its easy for people to say, just hang in there for a bit. But how do you hang, when your fingers have already slipped off the bar?

My parents always think its easy for me. Why can other people do it? Why is it so hard for me to study? How do you describe it? This isn't something I can explain either. Why does the North pole of a magnet repel another North pole? It just is. It just happens.

It was stupid of me to think that I could have seen this through easily, push through just like O's. I didn't realize that it would screw up till the very last minute. Indeed, it is like swallowing poison.

I'm burdened. Each day a weight is added to the cross that is my heart. Slowly, slowly, it becomes harder to bear.

HIOPUYUIOLHSFLKSFDJH

2007-08-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

I'M BLOODY BLOODY STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!! I LOST MY VOICE. I NECK DEEP IN CLIENT WORK. I CAN'T MANAGE MY TIME AND NOW THERE'S THIS BLOODY ODEX THINGY THAT JUST CONTINUES TO GIVE ME STRESS. I CAN'T STAND LIFE. CAN'T STAND IT. HECK EVEN TYPING IN CAPS CAN'T RELIEVE ME OR ANY. I'M LIKE HERE HALF WALLOWING IN MY TEARS AND WHAT THE BLOODY HELL. I CAN'T STAND IT. CAN'T STAND IT CAN'T STAND IT.............................. AH WHAT THE HECK I FEEL LIKE JUST CUTTING MYSELF FROM THIS BLOODY WORLD.

I MISSED TWO BLOODY DAYS OF SCHOOL TO GET SOME REST BUT COZ' OF ALL THIS IDIOTIC STRESS I JUST CAN'T GIVE UP. THAT IDIOTIC PERSON IN ODEX CAN JUST DROP DEAD AND DIE T_______________T IT'S SO IRRITATINGLY FRUSTRATING. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO I DUNNO WHAT TO DO. NEED TO GET A'S. NEED TO FINISH MY CLIENT WORK. HOW IN THE HELL CAN I, A PROCRASTINATOR, GET EVERYTHING DONE ON TIME? I NEED TO DO BETTER. NEED TO MANAGE MY TIME BETTER. BUT THIS ARE ALL WORDS THAT I CAN ONLY BLOODY SAY. I CAN'T SEEM TO PUT IT INTO ACTION. CAN'T SCREAM COZ' OF MY BLOODY THROAT. CAN'T DO ANYTHING THAT I WANT TO DO HECK! I DUNNO WHAT TO DO I DUNNO WHAT TO DO... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

my father came in when i was done ranting... talked to my for a while... i think i feel better. slightly....

bleagh...

2007-08-13T23:14:00.000+08:00

... Have you ever felt like, there is this emotion that you REALLY need to convey to someone, anyone, but there isn't really anyone who can understand it? Ok, maybe there are people who might and will understand, just that, you don't know these people. Those really really strong emotions that you need to talk about and have someone understand. I have a lot of that and its pretty annoying. And it's not about life and stuff, cos you can talk to anyone about life, cos everyone has one and have their own problems and yada yada...

But yeah, I'm talking about stuff that you feel from... errr... games, stories, anime... yeah... Especially games...

Practically no one in my class actually play RPGs, and those who do, they don't exactly play for the plot... They don't go and dig deep into the story... But that's how they go about their lives... I honestly cannot imagine how they survive just by skimming on the surface of everything... But of course, it's their lives and it's up to them how they run it, but I would probably go insane if I do it their way... Come to think of it, they would probably go insane if they did it my way... Perhaps maybe it's because I'm too much of a dreamer... I look at the plot and think, what would I have done if it were me... And well, I think about stuff that the plot inspires in me... Guess I think too much... It's probably a way to escape from reality... I guess, they can accept reality much more easily than me, hence they can live through it without going berserk.

Well, the current thing I'm feeling screwed about is Legend of Zelda. Yes I know its a game and all, but I guess I'm too absorbed into it... It pisses me off that out of the WHOLE of whatever land that the game is set in, only ONE person goes off to kill the villains and save the sorry asses of the rest of the people... I mean, every single Link, whether he's a fake Kokiri, a farm hand, or some random boy washed ashore, has to go on some stupid long tedious journey and kill weird ass shits, accompanied only by some non-human beings... which mostly comprises of a fairy and a horse... and maybe an imp... Great company, isn't it? And then the Goddesses just pop out and go "Hi! You are our newly elected Hero of Time! Go save the world. Bye!" And is every single guy named Link some anti-social wart or something? Would it kill just to get some comrades? Human comrades? Jeez, stop hogging the glory!!!

Now that's out of my system... I guess, when I play the game, I can't really help but put myself too much into the character's shoes. I think there are many games like this out there, but Legend of Zelda is the one that struck me most... I mean, running around on the fields is fun... Riding around on a horse, getting cool stuff... It's all fun... But it gets lonely when you are on your own... There isn't anyone to share with... And this is for both Link and me, cos not many people I know plays Legend of Zelda, and I can't really talk to anyone about it... Well, Link might be a bit better off, since he has a fairy to talk with, while I'm stuck with a fairy that only repeat lines and goes "Press A to ..."...

I really need a twin brother...-_-

Alones

2007-08-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

...

Haven't been here for a while... Listening to Alones-Bleach OP 6 now... Makes me feel emo... Strange some people classifies emo songs as those that scream and make a lot of noise... I think this kind of ... more.... calm? songs are more emo... kind of tension under the surface....

Oh, and sorry Dee, don't think I can help with the design thing... Parents... not very happy about me holding the tablet pen...

Been thinking about drawing and stuff, and I realize that I'm really very pathetically noobish after all... I can't come up with stuff that can actually fulfill the needs of others... Take for example, I tried to fulfill the theme of "pirates" when designing the logo, but, my brain just cannot generate anything ... This is obviously not good, cos, out there are clients all over that have different conditions... Yeah... I seem to be only able to draw stuff that I like...

Regarding friends, I do understand how it is to be alone... And I got that inferiority complex going... so yeah... I was often bullied when I was a kid... Now not anymore I guess, cos I don't even go near people now... Good that we are together, but even we won't last forever... So many possibilities in the future, so many paths to take... And the one that I really want, will cut me away from here... A price... I guess... We'll see...

I'm kinda sick of ranting about studying... It's always the same thing anyway... And there's no way out of it... I guess, its the way that the society has evolved... It has gone down a path that, not all of us like... I would think the number of people who actually like this way of life is the minority... But the benefits of this is too hard for the rest to resist... And through this system, what is right and what is wrong, is decided... Or really, I should say, what works towards and what works against the system. They hate it, yet they do it... Humans are... interesting...

I always did regret choosing the JC path, but then, if I didn't, I would not have met you guys.

And I discovered that Nomura is his family name and Tetsuya is his given name, so it should be Nomura Tetsuya...-_-

"If you can swim freely in the ocean, who needs the sky?"

shino finally blogged!

2007-08-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

haha feel so guilty havent been blogging much. aiyo. but wow it has been very active in here. everytime i come in there's like many new posts for me to read. haha. ok maybe i havent been coming online often. hehe. but crap y my comp so lag. i'm looking at the words come one by one as i type this.

oh well today went see yukata! haha ok u all shld noe since we went tgt. crap. wat shld i blog about then?

oh tml i going see fireworks at marina sq~ wheee~ pretty pretty fireworks! then on fri i going watch 881 at the theater! seems like a great show. very singapore! oh then sat is my sis 21st birthday party! ahhh so busy. aiyo... die la.. i totally no mood to study can. dunno y but recently studying has been more n more difficult. it's kinda hard to get the info into my head. how i wish to burn the notes n drink them up.. if only tt would make me able to get them into my head. rite.. it'll only get into my stomach n i'll die of food poisoning. how perfect. T.T

sian. wanna play maple too. ok i miss playing computer games. darn.

sorry guys but i cant help but mention tt prelims is like less than 2 weeks away n i so cannot believe tt? comeon considering how much i have studied.. oh wait i din study at all. T.T how? i so feel like dying.

sorry so negative today. dunno y. feel so sian-ed.

done a MOE survey days ago. was stuck at one of the qns for quite some time. 'r u being bullied in sch?' haix. sometimes i tink i m. oh well u all may not know my situation when i'm in class. but i'm well.. some sort of the bullied one in my clique. haix. i cant help but admit my clique's a clique coz we needed each other's company. n one of the reason i'm there is because i dun wan to be alone. haix. sad isn't it? darn. quite sick of jc life. last time i still can say i like sch coz i have nice friends nice classmates blah blah. but now.. i dunno. sometimes i feel suffocated when i'm ard my clique. haix.

but glad i joined magic. n got to know u 3 great friends!! *^________^* luv ya all!

ok done with today i guess. =)

sianzzzzzzzz......

2007-08-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

... Just woke up... again....

Feeling damn sian, cos everyone seems to be outside having fun, and I'm stuck at home...

And I'm not even studying...

No one's online to talk to...

OMIGOSH~ I'm going nuts @.@

2007-08-07T17:02:00.000+08:00

wheee~ I'm like dying seeing all the yukatas being sold like crazy at sgcafe. @.@ tmr is the meeting but in the end i'm not too sure who's going. shino i suppose we will meet later issit? so not like earlier maybe at 12 then study for a while or sth? coz' i dun think i'll be able to contain myself tmr XD. though i sure shy one since it's alot of ppl and i dun know them personally T.T sighs... so nuts. anyways i seriously tempted to just spurge $100 on a yukata full set. lol. kinda insane liao. XD. afterall, i can wear to alot of events mah. =DDDD. shoot... i so going to die. i need to maple to vent frustration. lol!

WHOEVER'S GOING TMR PLEASE TELL ME KK? COZ' I'm confused T.T

so now it's...

Option 1:
Meet after school & go and change (definitely not going there in school u XD)
Go mug somewhere (either NLB or bedok? prefer nlb XD)
walk to bugis mrt @ 4pm

Option 2:
Meet after going home to change & bathe ( i prefer this option lol)
Meet at a common place @ 12- 1pm?
Go Mug or shop or sth
go to bugis mrt @ 4pm

Option 3:
Just meet at bugis mrt @ 4pm

Okays, these are assuming you are going to sch tmr. since i dun wanna have a operational sing-a-long with mr azis(how ya spell?) yups. hehes. and i scared parents' letter not accepted.

AH must remember to sms me u going or not ah & which option u want. hahas. otherwise, i'll sms u later at night T.T

*goes off to maple to prevent self from killing self XD*

dreaming...

2007-08-05T18:03:00.000+08:00

... Just woke up...
I wasted my entire Sunday sleeping...

Dad currently making alot of noise about my brother, who is currently in Japan, and he's travelling plans...

Anyway, had weird dreams just now...

Something along the lines of me waking up to find my CT rep and a classmate in my house... He was hired by my brother to teach him Physics... Whatever... Then my CT rep started to play with the iron, which was starting to produce steam, which got VERY hot... And I got pissed and practically thundered at him... Well, then they left... Then got weird people start kocking at my door for all manners of things... Somehow they could open the locks to my door and gate... That got me abit insane and paranoid (anyone would), and I started placing tons of locks on my door... Some girl pried open the door just to ask for donation rudely, which I rejected... Then mysteriously, my family ended up watching television together... Weird, and I had another brother who was older than my elder brother...

Oh, and i drew something on my computer (in the dream I mean), with all the Chinese Chinese influence.... If I only I could draw like that in real life...-_- (I mean the quality, not the Chinese influence...)

My brother heading to Tokyo soon... wonder if I should get him to buy stuff for me... But that would be... I don't know, ABIT too much to expect from him....

I guess I would be going jogging soon....

"Night by night, Just howling in the shadows...."

X

2007-08-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

I made me a new wallpaper today! And I walked across the expressway from tampines to pasir ris just now. XD whew..

SINGAPORE MAP~!!!

2007-08-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

MWAHHHAHAHHAHAHA! THE NEW SINGAPORE MAP FOR MAPLE STORY IS UP WHEEEEE~

okay i just went insane hhahas. going to go there though it takes like 20k to get there hees~

today...

2007-08-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today was a hectic day. Even though my day supposedly end early. Kinda fun wandering around like that by myself. Like no pressure and stuff. hahas

okays, so it began after school @ 11:40am and i decided to hang out in the marquee after wandering around trying to find mr fan to no avail. so me and raymond gave up our search and i just slid that magic contact list under the door =D hope he sees it. it was 12:10 by then. the gate was not yet opened so i lingered in the marquee by myself waiting for it to open. then i realized i should have spent my time doing my current affairs quiz so i went to hub. was half doing quiz half surfing the net aka sgcafe then i blogged on magic blog then when i left, the 1:20 bell had rang hahas.

so instead of 12:30, i left school at 1:20, happily watching the bus 12 whizzed by in front of me T.T so i met christine at the bus stop and i sat down. we talked for a while then her bus came. it was then i noticed this whole army of ants BESIDE ME! what the... but thank goodness they were just interested in transporting white stuff which i assume is food back to their home base so they didn't bother me much. was halfway taking a video of them when my bus came and i dashed on hehes.

In the bus, i didn't do much was dozing off and listening to music as usual. quite peaceful. hahas. didn't want to wake up when i arrived at arab street. wanted to buy white fur for my friend's present but in the end, decided to change my concept for my present since the white fur was SO dirty. didn't like the ppl there anyway hahas. then i decided that i should buy the transparent foot for my sewing machine which i lost. but in the end, i couldn't coz' there was no stock T.T sighs... a wasted trip to arab street. so from there. i took the bus to nlb (lazy to walk la) then went there to do physics paper until 5:15pm. hahas. after i settled down, i immediately start making trips to the vending machines there to get milo and twisties hahas. so funny. ppl were staring O.o... hahas. anyways, i left at 5:15 to go to city hall where i waited for the meetup until 5:45 where i finally got the checkered skirt i bought ^^. then happily left to go to wait for 12 for the long trip home =D. actually the long trip to expo. hahas. there was a 7-eleven nearby and i entered, half tempted to see if i will buy the lolipop to get the free mini lolipop keychain (shino let's go buy it on wed. i dun care if i have to buy 6 i just want one keychain T.T). but i didn't in the end. whimped out T.T hahas. too scared to ask hehes

anyways, there was this guy beside me with the popular mag and i was trying to see over his shoulders. quite fun to do that even though i dun understand what was so interesting about the chinese words O.o... hahas.

anyways, after he left, my bus came as well. Then i called my mum and asked her if she wanted to accompany me though the chances of it happening was at most 0.1%. and i was right. my family was going to eat sushi at the tampines stadium T.T had half the mind to join them but in the end, the other half of my mind won so off i was to the expo. hehes. wandered around. and was so startled coz' the moment i entered, the announcer at "the true singapore ghost story booth" next to me suddenly announced russell lee's arrival. he's so freaky. face covered and everything but so mysterious. my sis was so envious when i told her mwahhahaha. i think she's going to see him when he comes to tampines mall... on the day we are going natsu matsuri~ wheee!!! russell lee was quite unique. was staring at him for a while then siam then later, under the pretext of taking a basket to place my stuff, i studied him somemore. so mysterious. his totally in black and his face covered (how does he breathe!!??) and he doesn't talk. was quite amused when the announcer keep on saying "I'm sure russell lee is pleased that blah blah...", like he is reading russell lee's mind like that hehes. hypocrisies. so i was just wandering around. took a drawing block, a correction tape, place them in the basket then left the basket somewhere to rot. hahas. after that, i went to eat at BK by myself. watched some kids play a fool here and there and watched two brothers argued over "this is bacon and bbq sauce so it's mine!" and "how would i know. i just took any one mah". Quite an enjoyable experience for some weird weird reason hahas. the half shadows effect of the table was quite interesting also. like i'm cast half in shadow and half in light. so cool! later, while desperately trying to finish drinking my coke, was debating whether or not i should buy the goods i abandoned in that lonely basket near the children's section. in the end, i just decided to buy the drawing block though i took a new one instead of the one in the basket. XD. oh and there were harry potter and the deathly hallows t-shirts that was free with every purchase of the HP and the DH books in one pile. was quite amused at the shirt though hehes. so went to take a closer look after i bought my stuff =D

after that, i waited waited... and waited for the bus which was kinda packed. the stuff in my hand was so heavy as well. >x<... and finally i made my way home

phew... didn't expect that i could recall what happen. have STM (short term memory) afterall. hahas.

think i will cross-post this at my own blog later. or maybe not. XD. see my laziness. maybe i'll just write in my journal =)

yay ghost whisperer rocks! =D

urgh... so late liao. tmr need to go nlb for studying. T.T dun wanna be late again. ciao~

. . . I hate thinking of titles...

2007-08-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

As I type this my PSP is on, waiting for me to play it...

Christianity, well, I don't really have much good experiences with it. Ehh, I was emphasizing more on nothing we do can eradicate his love for us, not talking about us eradicating his love for us.... I'm convince that we can't eradicate it, even if we want to. Yeah, that's the main point. Well, you know people come and tell me that I will be condemned to hell cos I'm not a Christian, and yeah, that's why I don't really like Christianity... But well, since the capital G thing is out of respect, I'm okay with it. I think, many just put the capital G without realizing why they put it. But it doesn't really matter actually, since it does not really affect me. Lol, for me, I would prefer to keep things informal. I mean, there are those who view our creator as some entity who punishes us if we don't do what he says and demands love from us. And there are those who just treats Chritianity as a brand, something hip. Lol, but anyway, whatever each person believes, I'm fine with it, as long as they don't impose their views on me, just as I will not impose mine on them. :)

OMG I used a smilie...

Regarding cosplay, since you all are fine with Riviera... if I can't find something that you all like, then I should be willing to do Riviera. It is fair isn't it?

Hmm.. what other nonsense do i have to spam...

i guess... nothing...hehe... see you all next time....

whizzes by

2007-08-03T06:14:00.000+08:00

Wheee ohayou gozaimasu~ it's so early in the morning T.T need to go to school in 10min time~ XD. haiii~ today finally friday when i was dreaming it was friday yesterday and thinking it was thursday the day before. my time's totally messed up~!

oh and wow, ovan you have a pretty pessimistic way of viewing christianity! XD. but i believe coz' i want to! hahas. it's really our way of showing respect to God who in our belief, created heaven and earth. Though he is just like a father to us, he is still our God hence why we need to use captial "G" desu~ that's what i believe. lol. i'm sure amy will have much more to say bout' it but for me, who is still so noob about christianity, mada mada dane ne? but it's okay, you can have your own views =D but i still dun understand why you would want to eradicate God's love for you? XDD but nvm

oh and riviera hmm... you dun find it compatible ah? T.T okays... the search continues? =( but dun stress yourself too much finding more stuff. studying also comes first ne? even though u say it's a mundane, time-wasting activity, through you will still gain exp. XD something like some rpg game just duller =D

ah, time to go! it's time to go to school!!! biyas! =DD

P/s: hopefully some guys join soon~ maybe when we are in uni~? =D though ovan got 2 yrs to go before that~ aiya, just ignore the fact we are girls lor - for the time being! XDDD.

yay, the blog is back to life.... I think...

2007-08-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I don't even remember typing any of that...-_-"

Anyway, I survived a Physics lecture test, 2 remedials and 1 tuition today... Yay...

Everytime I blog I need to open the main blog to remember what I type and to take reference from your other posts...

Nonsensical nonsense...

Anyway... I haven't really researched on what to cosplay... Things already heating up, and I'm either too tired, or too busy... I'm hesitant with Riviera... It's not that I dislike it... Just that on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 with the worse and 10 being the best, I would give it a 4.75... Its not about character complexity... I think it's more character compatibility...

Well, I think the impression my parents have of you all would also be partly my fault, cos I'm a slacker and all...

Oh, and Dee, why don't you dare let your thoughts run free on your own blog?

I think I'm starting to get stressed... Cos I'm starting to get weird dreams.... And I got weird dreams near O's and EOY... Yeah... But they are pretty interesting... Sometimes can get pretty...wrong...too.... Yeah... -_-" Might tell you all about them someday.... but it kinda touches on sore topics...

I do wonder if I would always remain the only guy in our group... I would be lying if I said that I've never felt uncomfortable about the girl : guy ratio of our group...

No offense, but regarding religion, I would say that I'm pretty against the Christian way of looking at God. Or the Catholic's view too. Several people have tried to convince me to believe in God and stuff. It's not that I don't believe in Him. It's just that the way and the stuff that I believe in, is different from them. My mother is a Catholic but she has never tried to convert me or soemthing. Cos, she said, it would be troublesome if I get a wife who is non-Catholic in future and stuff... Talk about being practical... You can see how my family prioritizes practicality over emotions.

Back to religion, I guess I don't want to fear God. And really, I don't see a need to capitalise every G in "God" or H in "Him". I mean, you don't talk about your dad as, my Dad, or, He is my Dad. I believe that your own father would never send you to burn in hell, whether you believe in him or not. It would matter little to him actually. Unconditional love requires nothing. He would love you, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, because he is your father, mother, creator. If he didn't like you in the first place, he could just change you to his liking. But he won't because he wants you to have free will, and because that is what he wants you to have, nothing you do will eradicate his love for you.

... -_-" I just typed a whole paragraph of religion thingie.... No offense! No offense! It's just my thoughts, you don't have to care about it.

I have this need to go out there and do something that is impactful enough to stun people...To show that I'm not just nerdy looking person who drifts around... That I have something more, and not just trying to study and draw...

Sometimes, I feel that I'm not me... I hardly know the person in the mirror... It feels like I'm reading a story about somebody else... about a make-believe character...

Sometimes, I don't want to believe this is true... I want to place hope in something else... Something that would happen to me, and me alone...

What is freaking wrong with this society? Everyone is just wasting their lives away... I mean, what's the use of earning so much money? 18 years of my life wasted on what? Getting a piece of paper so that some big shot can look at it and say, " We want you in our company" We memorise these retarded answers and try to understand stuff that we are completely not interested in. Why can't people see that this is freaking retarded? If the economy could be a bit more lax, people be abit more generous, the whole world be abit more nicer to each other in general, overall welfare, and I mean in the quality of life, and not quality of the goods that you own, will increase!!! Everything has become so warped and twisted that standard of living actually means your consumption and what not. Whatever happened to appreciating the sunrise? Oh sure, it doesn't bring in revenue, but so what? To survive in this freak world, people mug like dogs and throw away their youths. How sane is that?

...Ok... I don''t why I suddenly swerve the topic and go insane...

Eeh?

2007-08-02T20:13:00.000+08:00

finally there was an entry and wow, it's the longest yet! thx ovan~

sighs, it's kinda sad that your parents found us bad friends. Kinda means that basically, having friends like us is of no use to your future.

but nonetheless, i was also inspired into writing my thoughts over the past week or so. your thoughts reminded me of when i went to the pasar malam at tampines central after going to heartland mall with shino last sat. i was basically wandering around myself but instead of musing bout' my life, i focused on my spiritual life. i know none of you are christians/are free-thinkers but i still feel like voicing my thoughts =D hope ya don't mind or you can don't read XD.

so basically last sat, i had some strange feeling in me. when walking through the pasar malam, i felt kinda peaceful and at ease despite all the noises around me, much like the world was moving at my pace for once. I watched as a man calved names to form a keychain, so very tempted to make one "Dee" one for myself but didn't in the end after convincing myself $5 can buy alot of things. I'm starting to like that nick. amy calls me "D". i think "Dee" looks nicer though hahas. i think it was ever since last last sun when i finally went back to cell for the first time in.... i think months, i had this serene-like feeling in me throughout the entire week and this week as well. I talked to God more often, come to terms with what had been troubling me about my life + spiritual life and got myself a journal which i hope will keep me occupied for quite a while.

It's was a totally overwhelming sense of peace despite all my grades, my life, my friends - good or bad, my cell... basically everything. When i went to school and face those people that i dislike, even sometimes my closest friend where one day we can both be so high and on the very next day, i can't stand how self-centred she is, not bothering to wait for friends and expect me to run to her like some dog. i can't stand it yet i can't stand walking alone so i still run to her... like some dog. yes she waits for me at times but most of the time, she just packs and waltz out of the classroom, leaving me wondering if she's waiting outside for me or not and i just get so mad. if i packed faster, i'll at most wait in front of the classroom for her even when she packs slowly. yet she on the other hand, never does so. she seems to always want things to go her way and never cares about how i feel... I get so irritated that immediately i start praying and try to calm down, most of the times successful thank goodness... i don't like how i'm feeling about people coz' once i feel like that, i feel awfully lonely despite not being alone. so awfully awfully heart-achingly lonely. T.T so i try to cheer myself up by plastering this smile on my face and acting all interested, genki and stuff. like i'm in a facade or something... sighs. I can take all the pressure for A'levels (almost) no prob but w/o friends to move along with, it just doesn't feel right. it's like trying to climb this high high wall with no aid whatsoever. so i try to drag them along in this little weird thing called friendship and whenever i feel like just flinging myself out of that window, i'll start to pray and pray and pray. I've started to thank God for letting me continue to live each and every day. Thank God for placing friends like you three in my life (i really appreciate that) as well as other friends whom i still can't really open my heart to but whom let me continue to stay alive- in soul of course. This gives me a sense of self, like i pulled myself out of the dark waters. I pray whenever my thoughts start to wander because of the silence like on the bus- yes even on the bus when i was with aiysha just now. XD. now i'm totally weirded out about what i've just typed... hahas.

I guess the need to be filled with something is necessary for everyone. and in most friendships, there have to be the accomodating one and the one who leads. most, as i like our friendship now so i don't feel this apply. I hope you all don't feel this too. =D

so whenever i feel lonely, i turned to God to reduce this feeling. somehow it's amazing and it's not that i'm making use of him or sth. it's just that it's amazing that there's someone always there when i need him. something i've only realized now. urgh, this post really feels too inclined to my religion but hope you all don't mind. just felt like letting my current thoughts run free for once.

don't dare do so on my own blog =P.

ciao~

Oro...?

2007-08-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

No, I've never watched Rusouni Kenshin before.... Just lacking a better title for this.... post...

First things first: Blog people blog!!! Type anything... As long as there's something...

Be prepared for crap, randomness, and grandfather's story...

Perhaps I should update my current situation...

Parents are currently NOT happy with me after looking at my results slip. I'm currently banned from drawing...-_-... I don't think they like me going out with you all...They are under the impression that you all are a bad influence... Hence I don't think they like me going out at all...

I think the situation has sort of lightened though, since I could safely buy new pants and not get slaughtered... There is still some more stuff that I wish to buy...

I think I've sort of realized that Prelims are only a month away, and I should get my ass moving or face... annoying shit in future... I'm still moving pretty slowly though... Come to think of it, there's a Physics lecture test tomorrow, and I've only studied half a topic... I need to at least pass this thing....

I'm having violent tendencies in school, and have this urge to blow up everything... In between every 2 sentences in a conversation with a friend, there would be a dose of something violent... something along the lines of destroying the school, destroying Singapore, destroying the world, destroying the universe.... Yeah...

Come to think of it, there was some quality of school experience survey thingie to do this morning... They did mention not to dwell to long on each question... and hence I ended up giving some emo kid answers... Well, I did answer truthfully... Though the mood was kinda emo...

Random thought, I think I prefer writing/typing rather than talking... You don't need to project your voice and make sure others can hear you... You don't have to deal with eye contact too...

I think I can safely conclude that I am an outcast in school... There isn't anyone whom I would definitely hangout with everyday... There isn't any place where I can go to and be part of the group... I talk the most to only 2 people in my class, and 1 of them has this low probability of being in school, while the other would go off to his other friends everytime there's chance to... Everyone has their own set of friends, and within my own clique, I'm an outcast... I guess there isn't anyone reliable enough...

I think it also has to do with my current mentality... I think I'm just throwing off people one by one... There just isn't anymore meaning to anything... I'm just drifting through everyday life, where everything has lost its meaning, and I've no more purpose, no more motivation... Scoring well for exams, it's just too superficial to mean anything to me... Studying and mugging, you're just practically eating your notes... They bear no meaning, no purpose, there isn't any value in it that would add anything to my life, except a pathway to a so-called better future, in the financial aspect.

There was a career fair at school today too, and people are all so excited about whatever science courses, whatever law courses, whatever freebies, that were available... Perhaps I was the only one there who could fin dno interest in anything that was displayed... Perhaps I've walked down a wrong path... The way backwards is blocked, and I'm forced to move forward... My only motivation is to see the outside sky now, while other dig for the gold that is buried within the ground... They explore the hidden caverns, and try to find the many switches... Strangely enough, the hidden stuff are all easier to find than the safe path out...

On a lighter note, I think I've improved at pull-ups... I jogged today at the reservoir... and ended up walking the last part... Ate too much today and keep getting stitches... Walked the weird way back home... Along a deserted corridor of closed-down shops... It was silent, and, perhaps a little eerie, but then, it harboured tons or memories for me... And I realised, that my neighbourhood really meant alot o me...In a small, silent , weird kind of way...

At the very start of the stretch, is a Halal food restaurant, which i have never patronised, but pass by zillions of times... I always remember the smell of the charcoal and the otah... And I tell myself that one day, just one day, I might actually eat there....

Then comes my family doctor, who knows both my brother and I since we were born... Stinks abit there, and its always super boring to wait in the queue...

Now come the stretch of silent run down shops, and all the changes that were made...

OH oh... I remember something... that just beside the clinic, WAS a bakery... It was pretty run down, their quality weren't good, and they were pretty poor... But I liked going there when i was a kid... It was kinda dusty in there, and abit dark, but... I found really fun... I mean, I like their stuff... even though it wasn't good... My mum always complain about the cream.. but I didn't really care... Then they sold sweets, and Ma Mee snacks... But they are gone now...

Yeah, then comes the provision shop that used to sell Yu Gi Oh cards... It was the main highlight of my life from secondary 3 to 4... I go there everyday and spent tons od money there... My friends and I keep buying booster packs till we ran out of cash... We dueled there, we stood there and blocked the way, we bought the super cheap drinks, we talked cock with the auntie, we cheated the auntie, we got super deals from the auntie, we got cheated by the auntie, we filtered her booster boxes of their foil cards... It was fun... Tons of memories there... She stopped business just last year... She is a super money-faced woman who sits in her shop and watch tv the whole day...Yeah... She sold tons of junk too... But now its replaced by another provision shop... which is rather pathetic if you ask me...

Down the corridor, was what we termed as the "Bastard Shop"... It was a shop that specialised in Yu Gi Oh cards and well, was the first to close down... Owner is some money grubbing (more so than the auntie) bastard who is overly arrogant about his Yu Gi Oh playing skills... We hated him, and was happy he left...

Then there was a wet market, which opens only in the morning... My mum used to bring me there and, it stank of fish, tofu and rotting vegetables... Still stinks when i walk pass...

Then there was a minimart, with tons of more junk, that I used to buy when I was a kid... The last to close amon the shops...

There was a hair salon, but I ignored that... Then there was a cybercafe/card shop/comic rental shop that sometimes open sometimes closed... which I ignore too...

I really like the carpark in front of my house, mainly because of the trees... They are some how comforting... and they are always there... My house is just at the correct level, where you can see the treetops... It's irritating when they go and cut down the branches and leave the trunks all bare...

Then there is the NTUC supermarket across the road... Been there since I was a kid... pretty fun... And then the path with the postbox on the way, leading to the NTUC market... somehow, EOY 06 made it really significant... Just walking down the pathway...

... I think I'll miss this place... alot... when the time comes for me to leave... Of course, I would not miss the people... Maybe i should start some project thing, and start taking photos... These memories, only I have them, and when I'm gone, they disappear too... It's like nothing ever happen... I need to record it down... So that I will never forget them... I'm starting to turn abit unfeeling already... When nothing means anything...

Whoa, I really salute you if you actually manged to read all the way here...

I still need to study for tomorrow Physics test... And I have 2 remedials and a tuition tomorrow...

Crap...

"Awaiting manifestation, the seeker nods to Death"

LOL! a tagboard?

2007-07-24T17:01:00.000+08:00

hahas, just for fun i went to set up a tag board so to save us the hassle of posting if we wanna chat and for others to post if they come here. i doubt many will use the comment option XD. oh well, it's kinda redundant but i'll just have it up anyways XD.

hope to decide our cosplay characters soon (so i can get shopping b4 the A's)

Oh and wanna go to the Natsu Matsuri? it's late august though =(

To add on...

2007-07-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

Heyas, adding on to ovan's list:

1) Atelier Iris (http://www.animepaper.net/gallery/scans/Atelier-Iris/2/)
2) Blazing Souls (http://www.animepaper.net/gallery/scans/Blazing-Souls/)
3) Legend/Children of Mana (http://www.animepaper.net/gallery/scans/Children-Of-Mana/) (http://na.square-enix.com/games/LOM/characters.html) (http://mmxz.zophar.net/rpg/mana3/maincharacters.html) - costumes abit chim for legend of mana though. but quite nice =D
4) E's Otherwise (http://www.animepaper.net/gallery/scans/Es-Otherwise/)
5) Aprocripha/0 [okays so this is somewhat a shounen-ai game, but nothing explicit and the characters quite nice mah... though there is only 1 gal XD. but got girl-like characters too! ^^ i got quite a few pics for this] (http://www.animepaper.net/gallery/scans/Apocripha/2/)

okay, got all these from browsing animepaper and randomly clicking. i didn't click ALL the links though hahas. but this is what i got out of it! =]

time to sleep. gdnite ppl!

er....

2007-07-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

Back...
Err, Shino, I think after A's got about 2 weeks to EOY, not sure though. So maybe you could request for 2 weeks off or something from your mum? I don't think it sounds unreasonable... Yeah, since its after A's and time for having fun... But if really cannot, then we shall see how, ok?

Oh yeah, must come up with a name for our group..-_-

I'm confirmed buying a wig, since I'm against dying my hair....

Hmm, yeah, I think we should do our best to decide soon... Cos things will start to heat up, with exams drawing closer and all...

Perhaps I'll list some stuff, then you all can check them out, and add your own too?
I think got some that are already kicked out... but, I'll just list anyway...
1)Riviera: The Promised Land
2)Tales of Destiny
3)Tales of Destiny 2
4)Tales of Rebirth
5)Tales of Legendia
6)Shadow Hearts: Covenant (Karin's costume is the one on the front page, not in the character section) : http://www.shadowheartscovenant.com/
7)Xenosaga >.<
8)Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
9)Magna Carta: Tears of Blood: http://gallery.aethereality.net/list/series/168/
10)The Last Remnant (this one's a little...complicated....only got 2 characters out, wait for more...): http://www.square-enix.co.jp/remnant/main.html
11) Magic Knight Rayearth (....erm....)
12) Pandora Hearts: http://www.square-enix.co.jp/magazine/gfantasy/story/pandora/
13)Kuroshitsuji: http://www.square-enix.co.jp/magazine/gfantasy/story/kuroshitsuzi/
14)xxxHolic
15)Persona 3: http://www.atlus.com/persona3/
16) Matantei Loki Ragnarok

Thos with no website links, find in wikipedia or something...

Erm... most of them not really doable... but...we'll see!!!

Vanilla

2007-07-23T22:06:00.001+08:00

Gackt - Vanilla

This thing totally cracked me up. Hitsugaya Gackt, wierd woman, plus Oompa-Loompa dancers. Ah Gackt of 2002 when he was still young, fresh, Square Enix-ish, hot, and able to sing. The dance and the Oompa Loompas were cute. Watch and be amazed.
...
If anything, just watch for his singing and his looks. It's GACKT for crying out loud. XDD

EDIT: Ovan. Appearing offline arh??

2007-07-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

waaa... been looking @ alot of wigs lately. hahas. feel compelled to buy one. @.@ hahas. we still dun know what we doing for EOY ne? (bg: SHINNOOOOOOOOO T.T) it's the last event we can attend before ovan goes bye bye to NS and we have to start working and if possible, apply for scholarship, jobs, apply for U etc. etc.

sighs, should we decide soon?

P/S: urgh, yeah, i hate it when all my hard work spend typing my post disappears coz' of some technical fault =,=

.....

2007-07-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

I thought Blogger saves your drafts automatically?!!!

-_- I type so long... then all gone.... I'm pissed...

Don't want to type anymore.... I still have somemore homework...

wings are not for eating.

2007-07-22T21:57:00.001+08:00

tsukasa here. There's nothing much to blog here for today, except the fact that the weather is unusually cold tonight. Which is a relatively good thing considering the inferno mother nature has been putting us Singaporeans through for the past few weeks. Thank you nature, I promise I'll be good and attempt to go vegetarian in my small attempt to save the world and screw LiveEarth while I'm at it. Go me. Go Nao from Kagrra, in my little icon.

So why the whole vegetarian thing? Well, I was at Tampines library just now doing my work (I left because the guy next to me was irritating the crapshit out of me) and I noticed a very interesting exhibition about animals and how cruel it was to kill animals and such. So yeah, did you know that a good portion of the world's food goes to feeding animals for us to kill them and eat them eventually? That food could be used to feed the millions in Africa who are suffering from malnutrition and hunger. Did you know that the conditions in animal farms can beat any conditions in any prison camps? And did you know that animal meat is actually not very suitable for human consumption? It actually causes fatty deposits on the sides of our arteries and such.

Ok, all thats jazz and all that, I said, because hey, animals are made for us to eat. But think about it, there is a semblance of truth in what the exhibition was trying to say. Even if the whole point of the exhibition is to promote the vegetarian way of life, it covers the whole thing about animal rights and human rights as well. Who are we to take away the lives of these sovereign beings who are, just like us, living creatures? I was particularly intrigued by the point made that by promoting a meat eating culture, we are actually depriving millions of other HUMAN beings (not animals) the chance to actually have enough nutrition to live healthy lives. This is a question of the rich poor divide in the world today. Are these people to suffer in their misery just to support our lavish and obviously high end lifestyles? Is it our right as the ones higher up on the food chain to simply overlook these PEOPLE who are not as fortunate as us, just so that we can enjoy that steak or chicken wing?

If we can really help the world by turning vegetarian, then I don't mind joining in. I posed many questions and answered none, simply because these questions are personal questions that are posed towards the individual. This is no GP lesson, this is a re-evaluation of one of the basic necessities of life: food. Personally, I've always taken a passive stance on the issue, since my religion states that animals are for our nourishment and that as long as we slaughter them in the name of God, it is alright. However, I do believe there is truth in what the exhibition showed to me and I particularly empathize with the part about the fact that humans are starving so that we can eat meat. Now THAT sucks. If I have to give up on meat so that some kids in Africa can eat, I think I would do so.

Make the choice. Vege. Or not.

Lol.

(crossposted to my personal blog)

back to church?

2007-07-22T19:07:00.000+08:00

ah okay, i decided to go back cell group after many months of not going today =) and i started writing a journal today as well... oh well, will not elaborate on these to bore u all. =.=

ah dun really know what to blog about. today was... spiritual i guess. hahas. ah and next week we having magic dinner. =) ovan wanna join? shino take note unless aiysha told u already ^^ (and dun worry, it's YOUR choice whether u donate blood or not =) dun care what others tell u)

... i really have nothing to blog about. oh and on a brighter note, we should REALLY decide whether to do riviera or not XDD. the hair issue hmmm... hahas, i found a wig i guess online. <$45 i think. can't rmb. =D but it's ex. T.T

jia you for the week! mug mug mug

spamming

2007-07-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

hai! i'm here to spam.

wow so long nv come this blog le. first reason being.. my sis always hog on to the comp. the only free time i m not in sch having tutorials n remedial-ing i would be at home watching tv. definitely not mugging. CRAP. so dead. second reason.. i cant rmb the blog address!! ahhhh have to login blogger then can view blog. omg i m a loser. T.T third reason.. i lazy to blog! hehe =P ok dun kill me.. i see ovan taking knife out liao. ahhhhhhhh...!!

eee so did u all go out study today? me went my friend's church today. hmm their church service.. hmmm.. interesting.. they are very warm in welcoming new ppl.. n wow.. they very HIGH sia. ppl there also very friendly. =) it was a great experience. ok shall not comment too much on it. i'm still a free-thinker horrr~

cosplay... we still face the hair problem leh.. Riviera is cool la.. but only one short hair girl!! anyway when our a lvl end? how much time do we have from a lvl till eoy? ohhh... i dun mean to disappoint u all... but..... i have a feeling i cant cosplay leh........... wait let me finish! dun take out knife! ..........coz i tink my mom expects me to go find a job right after a lvls.. so ya.. then i cant tell her i going cosplay so dun wan find also.. so ya.. u all understand rite? ahhhhh i also dunno la. helppppppppppppppp. y so many things to worry about?! *bangs head on wall*

now it's midnight. got dc-ed talking halfway to ovan. took quite long to come back online. but ovan din wait for me. T.T go offline liao har. bishbish.

haix. feel so sick n tired of everything. T.T why liddat?

btw. did i tell u all i HATE injections! really really hate jabs. so wat the hell is wrong with refusing to go donate blood?! go die la. isnt donating blood out of own free will? y do i feel peer pressure ard me?! diediediedie!! haix sry venting frustrations. dun mind me.

haix. previous magic meeting like very fun hor.... y liddat... y i got concert on tt day? crap. oh n i dozed off during the concert. oops! btw dee.. hu's the junior u dislike? come tell me tell me..

hey let's come on with a name for our gang leh.

i watched hp le. not bad not bad. but find it a little too short. heard the book is much better.
anyway wow. watched the news today. see how ppl go crazy over hp book. queuing up a day before. wow. did u do tt aiysha? hehe. bet u're busy reading ur hp bk now rite. tell me if harry dies okay..?

aiysha send me the graphics post 1 pic! so pretty! i wan full resolutions de! thanks!

ok gotta ciao liao. sis back le. i using her comp now. so have to ciao. wheeeeeeeee. =) NITEX!

ps. WOW mine is the longest entry! haha. sry cant help it. i always blog so long de. tt's y nv blog often. ok NITEX!

huh?

2007-07-21T21:44:00.000+08:00

To answer your question, Draco appeared like... a total of 5 minutes throughout the whole movie...

... We really going to cosplay Riviera ar...? The guy(s) like very difficult to do.. . . . . . .
I don't really want to choose between shorts and wings. . . Cos I will definitely choose wings, and after working and getting stressed over it, everyone will force me to choose shorts....

Besides, I don't have that cute boy boy face, or the cool bishie face. . . By the way, Malice is a girl...

Oh, and can someone help to edit those stuff that's supposed to be photos on the right column? I don't know why it suddenly cannot display...

When is Coscon anyway?

I did not study today... I'm so....dead.... Situation is in critical mode now...-_-

There's just too much shit to pull through....

"No one could ever take anything away from him, nor could anyone give anything to him."

graphics post I

2007-07-21T20:11:00.000+08:00

Image post! random photoshopping is fun. XD

I'm bored =\

2007-07-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

lol. ah, HP5. dun think i'm going cinema to watch liao. =.= maybe when the dvd come out then buy or something. ahhh i want to see draco~~ did he appear much? still dunno how he presently looks like *going to check later* tmr must wake up early =.=

oh ovan going study tmr ah? u going where to study? =D i think i'll go Bedok coz' i wanted to go see the Pasar Malam somemore. =.= since today got unfortunate incident. n tmr then the legwarmers i wanna buy will come ^_____^. sighs... wonder if shino studying... hmm... she doesn't come here much does she *poke xianny* aiysha will be collecting + reading HP. REMEMBER! NO SPOILERS XDDDD. oh yah, i think i want to borrow from u can? after u lend ur friend and everything ^______^

and aiysha was telling me about cosplaying riviera?? i think that'll be cool. saw one site with lotsa wallpaper which can help us if we cosplaying that
(Wallpapers here!!)

but riviera got weapons =.= maybe this time, we assign 2 ppl clothes-making, 2 ppl weapons =D ah and got one character suited for shino- the red one (cierra i think) ^_______^ then she can use her red cloth to make that outfit somemore. but she cut already right? =S hmmm.... ahhh i like serene and the cat. XDDD. but for myself i dunno T.T

oh and EOY is on the 15th Dec 2007. There's a chance of it being 2 days but i doubt so =S. (can we go later so that we get free entry into EOY like they had last yr XDDD) and anyone wanna go coscon cum WCG 2007? =S

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

Interesting video... I'm suspecting that there's one girl in there...

I went to watch the Harry Potter with some friends today... Not exactly very nice... feels a bit empty... like its lacking something... Emotion perhaps? Graphics were, well, excellent. Forgot much of the story that I read from the book...

Think I'll mug tomorrow... I wanna buy stuff... but I don't really know what to buy...

Life is sooooooo boring.... I wanna go defend Hyrule or something...

" Catching only glimpses of your silhouette, I follow the trail of your footsteps, and transcend into a new World"

2007-07-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

Wahahahaha~~~ the layout kawaiiiiiii~ *continues playing with the snow cloud* XDDD. ahhh, i love our juniors too EXCEPT someone i've come to dislike after the last magic meeting >.> reminds me too much++ even worst than someone in my class =.=

ahhh today donated blood. then after that went to bedok Pasah Malam where i almost fainted =.= i think i scared my friend XDDD. think reason was too hot = alot of perspiration + loss of water from blood earlier = total lack of water in my body = eyes blurring = nearly fainting T.T.... but rested enough liao. need to key in SGC now. sighs. =S

ah i think the profile section we each update our own profile with an overall profile for all of us (as in the grp) lol, maybe can start some permanent grp after a's or sth. even when ovan goes to ns. =) aka MAGIC+ovan ALUMNI~~~~ XDDDD.

Tell Me

2007-07-19T23:53:00.001+08:00

This is some pretty cool Neo Japanesque stuff here to watch. Ouka Saki Some ni Keri by D. Lame pun I know (Dee, D, get it?).

**blizzard blows through**

Ok cold. Sooo.. I suppose I'm suppose to blog about relatively normal daily stuff. Well we had a little party at magic today. Cake and wafer cookies and all. It was pretty neat, even though it started a little late. We're going to be having a MAGIC dinner next week as well. Whoo.. i love my juniors. They remind me of everything that we did not do when we took over. I feel the club is safe in their hands, but that doesn't mean that this old grandmum won't hang around to digg into the fun.

XDDD

...

2007-07-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

Finally got the layout done...sort of... Wasted alot of time puzzling over stuff.... I am irritated...

School was pathetic as usual. I got pissed at my parents today. Again. Whatever.

Stupid remedials taking up alot of my time...

I have no idea how to survive this year...Drawing skills deteoriating quickly...

Tomorrow is Racial Harmony Day... Really wanna wear a yukata or something to school... But it'll look weird won't it? Yukata with a slingbag...

I hate my classmates...

Sounding like an emo kid right now... Argh...

" And I discovered, that on this side of the Wall, there was only me."

Please spam more XD

2007-07-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

ah here again. Nobody posts here T.T post ppl~!!!! sighssss.... kinda feel a little moody today XD. aiysha i dun like youuuuuu XDD. but nvm. it's great that u lost so much weight (though it's seriously freaky and not healthy =.= hahas.)

ppl just post k? so at least come here can see some weird new posts and stuff =D

wheeeee~ need to start doing hw later =D. should start by 8:30 bah. oh well, that's all i'll post for now. POST KK?? even if it's bo liao post =D. at least keep this new blog alive? =D

Another day, another post... T.T

2007-07-18T18:45:00.000+08:00

Ah, it's easier for me to post here then my blog. lol. sighs, today i just got back my progress report. scared to let my parents see sia. T.T but must get my mum to sign soon coz' fri must pass up T.T

need to see mr fan tmr. SHINNOOOOOOOO why u got concert T.T urgh. anyways, i need class fund mwahahaha. later hopefullly i rmb to sms u hehes. but i guess that means tmr we won't be meeting bah... sighs.

ah, i feel so random. dunno anything bout' blogspot layout so can't do much to help ^^;; hehes. yays! i got new study lamp liao kekekekes. ^_________^

oh yah, u all wanna start studying together? (and i think we need a tagboard =D) need to come up with study schedule first though >x<... wonder if mind maps will help >.>

oh n to aiysha/xianny: anyone of u going for EDB roundtable session this sat? scared i forgot to ask =)

whee signing off from this random post~ XDDD (but i guess such random posts are fun =D) pics looking cool~ XDD must dress up more often =)

SHINE

2007-07-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

well someone had to do it. While we decide what to do with this blog.

SHINO SAN ^^

2007-07-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

WHEEEEEEEEEE......!!!!!!!
eeee i'm last to blog!

tsukasa

2007-07-15T19:26:00.001+08:00

LOL.

ovan posting

2007-07-15T19:22:00.001+08:00

yeah... booyagaaa.....

Konbanwa~~!

2007-07-15T19:18:00.001+08:00

Wheeee~ first test post XDDDD. so fun.

endless story

I'm bored

heaven's place

so easily done, so difficult to reach...

I'm bored

=0

sian

WTF...

maths maths maths BLOG maths maths......

Freeze my Love

And the bloggin continues...

organisation? NAAAAAHHH...

my turn...?

wasn't the hp craze over decades ago...?

round and round

bleahx

photos!!

. . .

POP!!! goes the weasel...

HIOPUYUIOLHSFLKSFDJH

bleagh...

Alones

shino finally blogged!

sianzzzzzzzz......

OMIGOSH~ I'm going nuts @.@

dreaming...

X

SINGAPORE MAP~!!!

today...

. . . I hate thinking of titles...

*whizzes by*

yay, the blog is back to life.... I think...

Eeh?

Oro...?

LOL! a tagboard?

To add on...

er....

Vanilla

.....

wings are not for eating.

back to church?

spamming

huh?

graphics post I

I'm bored =\

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

Tell Me

...

Please spam more XD

Another day, another post... T.T

SHINE

SHINO SAN ^^

tsukasa

ovan posting

Konbanwa~~!

whizzes by